Whys Work Better Than Shoulds
“If you want to succeed at a goal, you need to understand why you want it. This is critical.” ~Michael S. Dobson
Much is made of New Year’s resolutions. We love fresh starts and new beginnings. At the start, anyway.
But how many have you made in your life? How many have you kept?
Most goals are missed because we are less clear about why we want what we want.
It is my contention we often fail to meet our goals because too many of them are based on ‘shoulds.’
– “I should exercise.”
– “I should lose weight.”
– “I should…whatever”
How many times do you let your shoulds make decisions? I know I certainly have too many times.
Shoulds—unless based on values or ethics—suck as long-term motivators. Six months, max.
Then, we revert to old patterns; it’s part of the human operating system.
For the longer-term sustained change required to achieve any goal, we’ve got to unearth why it’s important us. Sounds obvious, but we’re usually clearer about what others want for us than what we want for ourselves.
Here’s how to do that in shortened form: Every time you say or think you “should” do something, simply ask yourself why?
If your answer has to do with what other people will think/say if you don’t, then you’re setting yourself up for failure.
Your answer needs to be for and about you, what you want.
When you set a goal, remember: To get there you’ve got to use your “want to” oar, not the “ought to” one with which you’ve paddled in circles for years.
Remove the shoulds and replace with wants.
Whys work better than shoulds when rowing toward some distant shore.