Stop Shoulding

Stop Shoulding

Should is a futile word. It’s about what didn’t happen. It belongs in a parallel universe. It belongs in another dimension of space.” ~ Margaret Atwood

Oh, if I had a nickel for every should I’ve heard people utter during the course of my career!

“What do you think I should do?”

“Should I (fill-in-the-blank)?

“I know I shouldn’t feel this way, but…

“I don’t know what I should do about this (person/situation/feeling).”

“I should go ahead and just do it.”

“I should just keep my mouth shut.”

“I shouldn’t have to (fill-in-the-blank)!”

Whew. As Sister Mary Tricky says, “We’re shoulding all over ourselves.”

And in all cases, shoulds reflect a lack of clarity about what’s most important to you.

Begin with what you want, why you want it, and whether you chose to do/say it.

When you get clear, shoulds diminish, and eventually disappear, becoming choices, clear choices.

Clear choices empower you; shoulds deplete your energy.

It’s basic accounting: deposits into and withdrawals from your energy bank account.

Feeling drained, frustrated or resentful? Take inventory of your shoulds.

Because they will wear you out.

So, you should stop.

That is, if you choose to…

“You would be much happier if you removed the word ‘should’ from your vocabulary. ‘Should’ is denial. You’re saying your expectations deserve to override reality.” ~Albert Ellis



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About
Cynthia Barlow

Founder Cynthia Barlow

Facilitator, Author, Coach

Helping businesses build their people

When your people have the skills to communicate more effectively, they can connect more easily and collaborate more productively. Not only on the job, but also in life.

Communication, Connection, and Collaboration—the three “C’s”—are the cornerstones of all successful businesses. They are the result of Emotional Intelligence in action.

More details can be found in my recent best seller with co-author Jennifer Eggers:
Resilience: It’s Not About Bouncing Back

The power of resilience within organizations can transform an average company into a powerhouse. Yet, even in times of rapid disruptive change, there is no manual for building resilient organizations. This book is that manual.

“If you  want to build more resilience intentionally—personally and professionally—read this book.
~
Fran Karamousis, Chief  of Research, Gartner

 

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