Shift Your Focus

Shift Your Focus

“Trust leads to approachability and open communications.” ~ Scott Weiss

There’s an old adage: “You can’t give away what you don’t own.”

When we think about trust, it’s usually about trusting others, whether or not we can or should trust what they say and do.

And we know that trusting those in positions of authority enables more effective communication: people feel free to share their opinions without fear of reprisal.

But what about with yourself?

What kind of constant reprisals do you heap upon yourself?

Think about it. When talking with your boss, or when making a critical presentation or sales pitch, or when confronting a loved one, do you have a separate internal conversation rolling around inside your brain?

Does any of this internal dialogue sound familiar?

  • I shouldn’t have said that…
  • That was stupid…
  • What are they (he/she) thinking…
  • Uh, oh…
  • They (he/she) aren’t listening to me…

I could go on, but you get the idea.

We are our own worst critics.

So, if your focus during any communication, especially the difficult or high-stakes conversations, is on how you’re doing, how you’re being received, you’ve got it backwards.

Because when you trust yourself while you’re speaking, you mute the internal dialogue.

And your focus shifts off yourself and onto the other person(s), and that makes all the difference in keeping the lines of communication open.

The question is whether you’re trusting yourself.

Because you can’t give away what you don’t own.


Stay connected with our Monday Morning Message

Cynthia Barlow

Founder Cynthia Barlow

Facilitator, Author, Coach

Helping businesses build their people

When your people have the skills to communicate more effectively, they can connect more easily and collaborate more productively. Not only on the job, but also in life.

Communication, Connection, and Collaboration—the three “C’s”—are the cornerstones of all successful businesses. They are the result of Emotional Intelligence in action.

More details can be found in my recent best seller with co-author Jennifer Eggers:
Resilience: It’s Not About Bouncing Back

The power of resilience within organizations and can transform an average company into a powerhouse. Yet, even in times of rapid disruptive change, there is no manual for building resilient organizations. This book is that manual.

“If you  want to build more resilience intentionally—personally and professionally—read this book.”
Fran Karamousis, Chief  of Research, Gartner


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