Shift Your Focus
“Trust leads to approachability and open communications.” ~ Scott Weiss
There’s an old adage: “You can’t give away what you don’t own.”
When we think about trust, it’s usually about trusting others, whether or not we can or should trust what they say and do.
And we know that trusting those in positions of authority enables more effective communication: people feel free to share their opinions without fear of reprisal.
But what about with yourself?
What kind of constant reprisals do you heap upon yourself?
Think about it. When talking with your boss, or when making a critical presentation or sales pitch, or when confronting a loved one, do you have a separate internal conversation rolling around inside your brain?
Does any of this internal dialogue sound familiar?
- I shouldn’t have said that…
- That was stupid…
- What are they (he/she) thinking…
- Uh, oh…
- They (he/she) aren’t listening to me…
I could go on, but you get the idea.
We are our own worst critics.
So, if your focus during any communication, especially the difficult or high-stakes conversations, is on how you’re doing, how you’re being received, you’ve got it backwards.
Because when you trust yourself while you’re speaking, you mute the internal dialogue.
And your focus shifts off yourself and onto the other person(s), and that makes all the difference in keeping the lines of communication open.
The question is whether you’re trusting yourself.
Because you can’t give away what you don’t own.