Judgement: Discernment or Condemnation?
“We cannot change anything until we accept it. Condemnation does not liberate, it oppresses.” ~Carl Jung
Years ago, I had a program participant ask me this question: “How can I become less judgmental? I’m always judging people. I hate it.”
My response: “Get a lobotomy.”
As sentient beings, we make judgements. We are judging creatures. The question becomes, what kind of “judgments”?
As parents (and leaders), we want our children (and employees) to develop good judgement. How do they learn that? By exercising bad judgement, by making poor choices—and learning from them.
The issue is in the word itself I believe: Judgement. And there are two sides to that coin.
On the one side is discernment. On the other, condemnation.
Discernment is what we hope our children develop, not condemnation.
A person who judges others harshly, judges them self as harshly, too.
Someone who condemns others in that way is reflecting their own self-condemnation.
But is a lobotomy necessary? Hardly. It simply takes consciousness and practice.
When we release negative self-judgements, we create space to release them about others, too.
It is the individual journey towards internal peace that propels a family, business, community, or country towards acceptance and inclusion.
Hard to do if you’re busy condemning others, but way better than a lobotomy.
“You can develop good judgement as you do the muscles of your body – by judicious, daily exercise.” ~Grenville Kleiser