Judgement: Discernment or Condemnation?

Judgement: Discernment or Condemnation?

“We cannot change anything until we accept it. Condemnation does not liberate, it oppresses.” ~Carl Jung

Years ago, I had a program participant ask me this question: “How can I become less judgmental? I’m always judging people. I hate it.”

My response: “Get a lobotomy.”

As sentient beings, we make judgements. We are judging creatures. The question becomes, what kind of “judgments”?

As parents (and leaders), we want our children (and employees) to develop good judgement. How do they learn that? By exercising bad judgement, by making poor choices—and learning from them.

The issue is in the word itself I believe: Judgement. And there are two sides to that coin.

On the one side is discernment. On the other, condemnation.

Discernment is what we hope our children develop, not condemnation.

A person who judges others harshly, judges them self as harshly, too.

Someone who condemns others in that way is reflecting their own self-condemnation.

But is a lobotomy necessary? Hardly. It simply takes consciousness and practice.

When we release negative self-judgements, we create space to release them about others, too.

It is the individual journey towards internal peace that propels a family, business, community, or country towards acceptance and inclusion.

Hard to do if you’re busy condemning others, but way better than a lobotomy.

“You can develop good judgement as you do the muscles of your body – by judicious, daily exercise.” ~Grenville Kleiser

Stay connected with our Monday Morning Message

Cynthia Barlow

Founder Cynthia Barlow

Facilitator, Author, Coach

Helping businesses build their people

When your people have the skills to communicate more effectively, they can connect more easily and collaborate more productively. Not only on the job, but also in life.

Communication, Connection, and Collaboration—the three “C’s”—are the cornerstones of all successful businesses. They are the result of Emotional Intelligence in action.

More details can be found in my recent best seller with co-author Jennifer Eggers:
Resilience: It’s Not About Bouncing Back

The power of resilience within organizations and can transform an average company into a powerhouse. Yet, even in times of rapid disruptive change, there is no manual for building resilient organizations. This book is that manual.

“If you  want to build more resilience intentionally—personally and professionally—read this book.”
Fran Karamousis, Chief  of Research, Gartner


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