“When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but creatures of emotion.”~Dale Carnegie 

There’s a line I use, at some point or another, in almost every class I conduct: “The longest journey of your life is the one between your head and your heart;” the implication being that there is a disconnection between logic and emotion—the brain and the heart—in a lot of people.

And, not only is this disconnect counterproductive to building and maintaining rewarding human relationships, it limits our ability to put words to our feelings, to actually frame them so that someone else can understand.

In cutting ourselves off from our feelings—usually at an early age and usually in order to protect ourselves from pain—we also lose the language of emotions.

Watch this brilliant TEDx talk. In it Joe Erhmann—a former NFL defensive lineman who played for the Colts back when they were the Baltimore Colts, and who is now in his 60’s and a motivational speaker—delivers an impassioned, succinct and insightful talk on the damage done with three words: Be a man.

He makes an articulate case for the head-heart connection and puts a name to the condition that afflicts a lot of people, and especially men: alexithymia–the inability to name feelings.

In another radio show, The brilliant Moth Live programs, I listened to this story about a NYC cop. Hardened cops who don’t cry…or do they?

It got to me. I hope you’ll give it a listen because it goes to my point: there is power in being able to name and put voice to your emotions.

Like visiting a doctor because you feel sick, it’s more difficult for the physician to help if you lack the language to describe your symptoms.

In fact, the words that describe our feelings are the planks that build bridges for comprehension.

You gotta’ know what you feel before you can understand it—or communicate it.